creepshow314

2010-06-05T01:04:00.000-07:00

I've got a new weekly webcomic strip about a superhero who throws his testicles at criminals. It's called SHOTPUT and you can check it out here and become a fan on facebook here.

2010-04-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

ANDY THOM GETS HIS BIG BREAK

2008-12-10T22:44:00.000-08:00

Nothing says 'Christmas' more than a Black Flag t-shirt.

ODE TO WINSLOW

2008-12-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

Johnny Ryan is a genius. My tribute to his only family-friendly moment.

VAN HALEN VS. DAVID LEE ROTH '96

2008-08-30T23:19:00.001-07:00

AMJ'S REVIEW OF THE DARK KNIGHT (spoilers) NOT FOR THE LITTLE ONES (this review, not the movie)

2008-08-01T22:50:00.000-07:00

ANDY: Still talks like an asshole.

MIKE: Agreed.

JEFF: Sometimes he does, but mostly he tries to hide his Brucewaynian accent.

ANDY: You mean his dumb Australian accent? I'd rather he talked like Donald Duck, I'd laugh less. You're wrong.

JEFF: You're right. I'm sorry.

ANDY: Still hate the Robocop suit. They said they were going to make it lighter so he could turn his head. I got excited and then they didn't change shit.

MIKE: Suit doesn't bother me. I don't even think about the suit. I guess I've just accepted it. Hell, if I had my way (and I do) he'd wear a gray sweatshirt with a bat sewed on it ala Year One.

JEFF: They changed plenty. I liked the suit, except for the neck and nose area.

ANDY: If the suit is so cool why doesn't he wear it in the comics and have his boo boo black mascara? Terrible design, looks like shit and you're gay if you like it.

JEFF: You're right. Him wearing a sweatshirt with a bat drawn on it with a Sharpie would've been better. I like men.

ANDY: Hate when they film him from the angle where the side of his head is thicker than his neck. And that black eye make-up is just gay. Always was and always will be.

MIKE: There were a few shots were he looks fucking ridiculous.

JEFF: When he was across the table from the Joker, his nose area looked like the guy from BDP (Boogie Down Productions)

ANDY: Racist.

JEFF: You are!

ANDY: Enough with the fucking gun that shoots a rope. Christ!

MIKE: I'm with ya on that one. It's to the point where you don't even give a shit when he falls because you know what's going to happen.

JEFF: Do you give a shit if Spiderman falls? He's Batman, and he's got a gun/rope thingy. It's like saying "Enough with the fucking batwing glider cape!" I don't understand that pet peeve.

ANDY: Have you ever seen a gun rope? Know where I can get one? He shot it at the bad guys, he shot it at the Joker and the fucking bad guys even had one in the opening! Glider cape is cool cuz he's part bat, see? He aint a spider bat.

JEFF: You're right. It's not a comic book movie, it's real life. I'm sorry Andy.

ANDY: Two Face goes to the same speech coach. At one point I wasn't sure who was talking, Batman or 2Face. No lie.

MIKE: Dude's face was burnt, yo. That makes yer voice crispy.

JEFF: I thought he was awesome. Open yer fuckin' ears next time.

ANDY: You love zombies so Two Face could do no wrong. Him and Batman talk stupid. I'm right.

JEFF: You're right. He wasn't mad, he was just talking exactly like Batman...which is to talk stupid.

ANDY: If he is a martial art expert why doesn't he ever kick? He uses the same fighting technique that Robocop would use, and he looks just as stiff.

MIKE: Most of the fight scenes are weak.

JEFF: There was one scene, in Hong Kong, when Batman yanked a dude's arm back, and the dude was supposed to fire a shot at that instant, but he didn't, so Batman held his arm there, waiting for him to fire, and then the dude fired, so, on with the scene! I was glad they didn't film it all choppy MTV style like the first one. And his stunt double is Steven Segal.

ANDY: Admit the fight scenes were weak and move on.

JEFF: You move on!

ANDY: He doesn't lurk enough. At one point he's just standing by the bat signal talking to Gordon and Dent and he's fucking shorter than both of them! Have him perched on a wall or something.

MIKE: Yes.

JEFF: AGREED. At least give him a soapbox to stand on. He looked like Danzig.

ANDY: Finally.

JEFF: Fuck you finally.

ANDY: ENOUGH with the fucking disappear when they turn their heads! Does he think that it's cute? So fucking corny. What, does he just stand there and think, "I'm gonna wait until he turn his head and run away really fast, hee hee." I want them to turn and catch him one time.

MIKE: ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY! Getting tired of that, too. They also always have to add, "He does that." Groan. Unfortunately everyone in the theater laughed as I tried to roll my eyes as loud as I could to drown out the laughter.

JEFF: JESUS CHRIST calm down! They never did that in any of the old Batmans, and they always did it in the animated series. This series of movies gets it right, and you guys are complainin'. Jesus. Although I wanted to Gordon to say to Dent "He always does that...And this time I got to see him do it! Yay!" Cuz he was lookin' right at him.

ANDY: Come to think of it, this isn't very bat-like either. You ever seen a bat? They're crazy! They fly by your head then they disappear. You think your safe and then they swoop down all crazy like and almost get in your hair. Then they disappear again. I would like to see more of that when he leaves a scene.

JEFF: He should leave a big steaming pile of shit (guano) before disappearing.

ANDY: So, when the Joker slits your cheek open you die instantly? Pencil in the brain, I'll give you that.

MIKE: Yeah, that was very vague. Actually I think when he slits your cheek open you just disappear. Did they even show him after that?

JEFF: It seemed to me that they cut that scene for the PG-13 rating. I just went along with it.

ANDY: He didn't disappear, he fell to the ground dead as a doornail. Atta boy, just go with it.

JEFF: Don't call me boy, you racist.

ANDY: That chic was BUTT FUCKIN UGLY! For those two hunks to fall so hard for her was beyond me.

MIKE: Yer just jealous. You wish you were that ugly to attract such hot man meat.

JEFF: Yes. Heath had to really use some acting tricks to call her beautiful twice in 10 seconds.

ANDY: You two may not be gay after all.

JEFF: But I just admitted that I was... (NOTE: I'm not.)

ANDY: He jumps off a building and crashes into a car saving the ugly broad. Joker is still upstairs terrorizing people and he just goes home?

MIKE: Yes.

JEFF: RACHEL "Where's Harvey?"
BATMAN "He's safe."
RACHEL "What about all those rich people up there?"
BATMAN "Um..."

ANDY: Now that's funny.

JEFF: You got that right.

ANDY: When that kid was on TV to reveal Batman's identity does he? That was a big moment and they didn't show him get cut off before he got to say.

MIKE: Yeah this was the biggest pile of bullshit I had to climb in this movie. It was never clear if he already said it or if he was going to and was interrupted or what. I still don't really know. I'm assuming he didn't but they didn't make that too clear. I thought that whole character/plotline could have been dropped.

JEFF: JESUS FUCK YOU GUYS! Open yer fuckin ears. They were waiting til the end of the show (like every newscast does with their hot item) People were calling in and telling him to do it or not to do it. That was an awesome plotline because the Joker called for his execution or he'd blow up a hospital. Fuck, you pricks is makin' me mad!

ANDY: Mike and I are right. Micheal Bey movie making right there. Important plot point that was neglected for action scene.

JEFF: First of all, it's Michael Bay, and b) it was only neglected in yours and Mike's puny brains.

ANDY: Before he drove away he said he was going to save Rachel leaving Gordon to go for Dent. Then he shows up at Dent's. Did Joker switch addresses? Should've been explained.

MIKE: I thought it was obvious Joker fucked him in his ugly girl loving ass and I was glad they didn't explain it with a non Batman moving mouth saying the dubbed line, "He switched the addresses! Oh youuuuuuu!!!

JEFF: Yes, that was obvious Andy. You were probably looking at Batman's neck.

ANDY: This is the only one I'll give you.

JEFF: Although, originally, you thought that it "Should've been explained." Ho ho ho, how far you have fallen Mr. Thom. Tsk!

ANDY: Not the movies fault but I wasn't shocked by the Joker's actions. Seen it in the comics (and done better) all before. Killing Joke he kidnaps Gordons daughter and rapes her. Takes pictures. Dark Night comic he's crazy. The movie version was cool and all. I guess I'm jaded.
Too fucking long. Could have been 45 minutes shorter.

MIKE: I would normally agree as I usually think 90 minutes is too long of a movie for my short attention span. But I had no problem with the length of this.

JEFF: I loved it. This movie-Joker was the best, and it was still ok for kids to see. Rape isn't. Although, coming from a man who let his little ones watch Sasquatch bite a guy's face off... Did he rape the face hole afterwards?

ANDY: Superhero movies have ALWAYS ignored the fine art of rape and this was their big chance.

WILLIAM SHATNER: You sicken me.

Good things:

ANDY: Joker's performance.
MIKE: I thought it was very good but not mindblowing like some would say.
JEFF: Mindblowing!
ANDY: He was good and even cooler cuz he's a real dead guy.

ANDY: Alfred and Lucious.
MIKE: Sure
JEFF: Sure.
ANDY: Alfred's mercenary past and Lucious warning that kid not to F with Bman was great.

ANDY: Batman's white eyes.
MIKE: I don't unnerstand whatcher sayin'.
JEFF: The cell phone tv screen eyes at the end. No. It was Daredevil, not Batman.
ANDY: Pick up a fuckin comic dummies. His eyes is white.

ANDY: Stealing that guy from China.
MIKE: Yes.
JEFF: From Hong Kong? Yes. Oh wait, what year is it? 1997? China, yes.

ANDY: Tipping over the tractor trailer.
MIKE: Yes.
JEFF: Yes.

JEFF: The Bat-Pod launching out of the wrecked Tumbler.
ANDY: OK I guess.
JEFF: Batman saving the Joker.
ANDY: Loved that part. Loved how Joker was laughing as he fell.
JEFF: The Joker in a nurses outfit.
ANDY: Yup.
JEFF: The false start of the exploding hospital.
ANDY: Yup.
JEFF: The pencil magic trick.
ANDY: Yup.
JEFF: Harvey's reaction when the mob guy pulls the trigger.
ANDY: eh.
JEFF: Two-Face's reaction when he realizes the beautiful nurse is really the Joker.
ANDY: eh?
JEFF: Joker's standing there, in a nurse's outfit and a wig, 2face stares at him, no mistaking that it's the Joker wearing a wig...Joker takes off the wig, 2face freaks out. "YOU!"
JEFF: Scarecrow's cameo.
ANDY: EH?
JEFF: You got a hearing problem?

JEFF'S BAD THINGS:

Scarecrow's van stopping suddenly because Batman landed on it.

The cop guarding the Joker INSIDE the interragation room. That scene coulda been played with the Joker talking to whoever's behind the mirror. Guessing that he's talking
to a cop who's buddies he killed. They coulda filmed it with him looking at his reflection, not knowing if anyone's listening, then the door opens, and the cop comes in
rolling up his sleeves.

Alfred letting Rachel go, even though she was staying there as protection from the Joker.

Eric Roberts and that Scarface Pacino wannabe.

Batman fighting SWAT instead of yelling "THE CLOWNS ARE HOSTAGES!" Or telling Lucious to call Gordon and tell him to tell his men.

"Blame me" Why not blame the Joker?

ANDY: After all this, Burton's shit doesn't smell so bad.
JEFF: I dare you to go back and watch any o' dem piles of shits.

ANDY: That's about it. Believe it or not I liked the fucking movie. Not better than Iron Man but I liked it.
MIKE: I don't believe it.
JEFF: Much better than Iron Man.
ANDY: You're wrong, I'm right. Thank you.
JEFF: You're welcome.

Love,
Jeff

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHA!

2008-07-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

I AM IRON MAN REVIEWER (spoilers!)

2008-05-09T01:49:00.001-07:00

So I finally saw Iron Man… Was it worth the wait? Yes and no. Y’see, I got this curse…Now, others might call it a gift, but not me, I know better. Sometimes when I watch a movie, I either predict the shit outta it, or think about how I would’ve done it, or both. With this movie, surprisingly, I didn’t predict the shit out of it. I think the reason for that was Jon Favreau and the four writers went way below my expectations when it came to the climactic ending, causing me to think about how I woulda done it.
This is an ‘origin’ movie, so it takes a lot of time for Tony Stark to become Iron Man. My 11 year old son had a hard time with this, but I didn’t, because Robert Downey Jr. does such a great job. Plus, I’m sittin’ there with the matter-of-fact-knowledge that when he finally puts on the suit, it’s gonna be worth all that dialog and witty banter.
I was fucking wrong. He puts on the suit and flies around the city a bit, then decides for some reason (foreshadowing!) to see if he can fly into space. Of course his suit ices up and he falls back to earth, with the power coming back on at the last minute, but didn’t we already see that scene in The Hulk (minus the jet boots and the humor)? Maybe that’ll be the new go-to scene in superhero movies, like in action movies, when the bad guy grabs a cop’s gun after he’s been supposedly beaten, giving the good guy, who did the Christian thing by sparing his life, a reason to not do what Jesus would do.
So that was a letdown.
Next thing to look forward to? The revenge sequence, where Tony as Iron Man flies back to the desert to save refugees and kill the terrorists who held him prisoner and killed the man who saved his life. This didn’t let me down, it just went by too quick.
But that’s okay, right? Cuz now here comes the jet fighter sequence! Am I on the edge of my seat? No dammit no. Jonny Favs, don’t use a stationary camera angle and have CG Iron Man zoom past it. I don’t give a shit about his contrails! I wanna see Iron Man as he flies!
Film it as you would a car chase! Complain all you want about The Matrix Reloaded, but it had one of the best car chase scenes ever filmed. Imagine Trinity and the Keymaker on that bike just zooming by a camera the Wachowski’s placed on the freeway, over and over again. So I’m exaggerating.
And speaking of the guy who saved Tony's life and got him to change from arms dealer to super hero... There's a scene where Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) refuses to help Tony in his crusade to protect the people, because in her mind, it'll just get him killed, and she cares too much blah blah blah, so she quits. Yeah, just a plot device to get Tony riled up and give a speech about how she was by his side the whole time he was making millions off the death and destruction of innocents, and now that he wants to protect the innocent? "Okay," I think, "here comes the Oscar-nominated power of Bobby Downey Juney! He's gonna tell her about the man who saved his life and get all emotional n' shit...!"
Then he sits down, like he's tired and he's just asked her to get him a coffee and she said "Aw man. Now?"
Jonny? You done missed a golden opportunity to show Tony Stark has got a new heart- both figuratively AND literally!
Okay, so now we get to the climactic battle between Iron Monger and Iron Man. Monger picks up a car and throws it at Iron Man.
Iron Man gets thrown into a bus. Monger blows up the bus. Then they both fly up and freeze in the atmosphere! (Foreshadowing pays off! (there’s way more foreshadowing in this movie, but I’m tired)) Iron Man lets the giant 3 ton Monger fall back towards the city, not giving a shit about what or who he’s gonna land on and destroy. But it doesn’t matter anyway, cuz Monger is okay, and knocks Shell Head’s helmet off so we can see it’s Robert Downey Jr. in there (which I didn’t mind at all. Nowhere near as bad as Alec Baldwin in The Shadow).So instead of Iron Man defeating the bad guy, Pepper Potts pushes a button and saves the day…much like Dee Dee in Dexter’s Laboratory: Ego Trip.
At one point during this movie, I actually stopped leaning forward, because I realized they weren’t interested in blowing me or my son away with awesomeness. I lean forward during movies when it gets really exciting, you see…
So, having said all that, I still want to see it in theaters again, then buy the 2 disc special edition dvd.
Love,
Jeff

JMA #1!

2008-05-07T13:13:00.000-07:00

That's me. JMA. Number 1. Jeffrey Michael Allen. Actually, I'm not number 1. That's my middle finger sticking up there with the shiny nail. Blood shoots from my eyes as grey scraggillies climb out of my beard. My interpretation of life, at Big Bri's house. For May's Jelly of the Month Art Blog. Check it out. You might get a chuckle out of all the funny April entries... F-holes. Not you, them.

GRAMPA'S CRACKED RIBS

2008-04-22T21:04:00.000-07:00

My grampa (who is my kids' great grampa) fell and broke his ribs in his home. But I know what really happened... ;)

LAPD NC

2008-04-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

I drew this for my cop/nephew and his division of Narcotics Officers. They're makin' t-shirts for themselves and wanted a skull with flaming police batons as the cross bones.

BUSH TAKES A DUMP

2008-04-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

For April's Jelly of the Month Club entry. He's takin' a dump in his toilet, which is shaped like the U.S.A. and he's getting Constitution Toilet Paper with his blood stained hands. Enjoy!

JAMES CROMWELL EFILNIKUFESIN (N.F.L.)

2008-03-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

Now with music.

MIKE BORKOWSKI: B-DAY CARD GENIUS

2008-03-14T22:40:00.000-07:00

Self explanatory.

RHODES SCHOLAR

2008-03-14T14:19:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday you Monkey Farm Frankenstein! Whaddaya doin' with my TIME?!?

XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN: TIME AFTER TIME ANIMATICS (AFTER & BEFORE)

2008-03-14T03:41:00.000-07:00

UPDATED. Includes original untweaked version. More info coming soon.

Trap Door 1987 (HydroWaste-A-Go-Go)

2008-03-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

The year was 1987, the place was Sameesville, PA, the band was Trap Door, the song was Hydrowaste-A-Go-Go, the motto was All-Out-Trap-Fockin'-Blitz-Rock! The line-up was Wiggly, Andy Van Hallen, Holee Cow, Bats and Wooferine!

Shot in half a day on a rented video camera and edited between two home VCRs, duplicated a few dozen times and served up digitally 21 years later. Hydrowaste was originally written by Wiggly and Mr Trousers circa 1979. YIKES!
~Wiggly

ANTI-DRUG COMMERCIAL

2008-03-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

This commercial used to annoy the crap outta me. The music, the drawings, the animation, the kid at the end with his unsure half-smile, puttin' his pencil in behind his ear... After saying all that, I love it now, especially the music. I had him say something more interesting at the end.

MY GRAMPA'S THOUGHTS ON DAVID CARUSO

2008-03-07T18:10:00.000-08:00

Just got a new camera/camcorder cell phone and put it to good use on my grampa talkin' smack about the red-head stepchild: David Caruso.

Perry Condrial Hematomy! The UFC's Beloved Mascot.

2008-03-02T21:48:00.001-08:00

My latest entry in the Jelly of the Month Club. The theme for March is: Mascots. Since the only mascot I could think of was the San Diego Chicken, I made one up. It's a giant cauliflower ear (perichondrial hematoma) in yellow tights and an oversized UFC baseball cap. I used Randy Couture's ear for reference, the best cauliflower ear in the world of MMA.

RED IN THE 21st CENTURY

2008-02-28T19:45:00.000-08:00

One of my versions of Red, the bartender who owns the Tube Bar and got harrassing phone calls from the Bum Bar Bastards. In this drawing, Red is calling out the name that's a play on the phrase "How'd you like a kick?" Done on my Cintiq with Alias Sketchbook.

HOMEMADE ROBOT SPIDER

2008-02-28T14:03:00.001-08:00

Pretty neat.

WIGGLY, TIME TRAVELER

2008-02-28T00:05:00.000-08:00

He can only travel forward in time about one second every second.

DON'T F*** WITH THE PUNISHER...

2008-02-27T23:29:00.000-08:00

This guy did. Look at him. Got his nose pushed in. Gash on the forehead. Missin' teef. Pssh! That dude got F***ed up! Done on my Cintiq with Alias Sketchbook pro for February's Jelly of the Month club.

JAMES CROMWELL'S SUICIDE: ERASER

2008-02-21T23:37:00.000-08:00

This scene, from the Schwarzenegger movie Eraser, was just a quick little scene meant to move the story along. But I (with the help of my old laserdisc player) extended it to comedic heights. I did this ten years ago for my brother on his birthday. He and his friend Paul were laughin' so hard they were crying (everyone else in the room was repulsed). This was way before A/B Repeat & DVD's, so forgive the quality. WARNING: THIS IS VIOLENT, A MAN SHOOTING HIMSELF IN THE MOUTH, OVER & OVER & OVER AGAIN. IT MAY NOT BE FOR EVERYBODY. Hopefully you can find the humor and beauty in Jimmy Cromwell's performance.

HUGH JACKMAN AS WOLVERINE

2008-02-16T10:32:00.000-08:00

I was pretty underwhelmed with the first photo of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine from the new X-Men Origins movie, (it looks like it could've been a pic of him from either of the first 3 movies) so I started drawing the old costume over him as a joke, but then I liked how it was comin' out, so I kept goin'.
Just dragged the photo into Alias Sketchbook and drew on top of it.

XS: CITADEL OF DOOM W.K.

2008-02-14T19:27:00.000-08:00

I thumbnailed this sequence to go with Andrew W.K.'s song Never Let Down. I love that song and felt it would really sell Rai choosing his friends over Wuya, escaping from her exploding Citadel of Doom, and the earth returning to life. Most of all the scene on Dojo's back, where Omi, Kimiko, and Clay all celebrate Raimundo's return to the good side. When Justin made the animatic, he edited the song into it, which was a big no-no because the first season I got a little too sound fx and music-happy with the animatics (animatics are just for timing and network execs to view to get a feel for how the show will look animated) & a producer told me "No more music or sound fx in the animatics." So for Citadel of Doom, I ignored his words and asked Justin to put it in anyway. It paid off. As the music started, the producer gave me the evil eye. I gave him my "Trust me" face, and after the scene was over, he wiped a tear from his eye and called me a mother effer. Twas the greatest compliment I ever got. So I finally got around to re-editing this sequence with the song. Hope you get the same joyful, uplifting feeling I do from this.

OMI: STUPIFIED!

2008-02-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

DELETED SCENE-Raw footage of Omi after being blinded by the Star Hanabi. As boarded by Mike Borkowski.

KURT LIED ABOUT NOT NEEDING HELP

2008-02-12T00:52:00.000-08:00

Part 4 of STONE COLD: SON OF CURLY & SHEMP. For a man who just got his head knocked off by Booker T, he sure can yell at his boss and the WWF Champion. Comedy Gold. Scroll down for previous chapters in this saga.

KURT DON'T NEED NOBODY'S HELP!

2008-02-11T15:57:00.001-08:00

SOUND FIXED! Kurt Angle refuses Stone Cold's offer of being ringside with Vince to make sure Booker T doesn't win. Part 3 of STONE COLD: SON OF CURLY & SHEMP.

STONE COLD, KURT ANGLE, VINCE MCMAHON: THE NEW 3 STOOGES

2008-02-09T23:51:00.000-08:00

SOUND FIXED! More hillarity and ad libs as Kurt loosens up for a title match against Booker T. Stone Cold is a frickin' comedy GENIUS! Seriously. Part 2 of STONE COLD: SON OF CURLY & SHEMP.

DDP STEALS UNDERTAKER'S RIDE

2008-02-09T22:59:00.000-08:00

SOUND FIXED! After spraining Sara's neck and pissing off the Undertaker, Diamond Dallas Page and Shane McMahon celebrate by deciding DDP should steal Undertaker's bike. Seems like forever he sits on that thing, wondering why he can't ride off into the night... Shane helps him out, damn him. This would've been a classic vid if he wiped out into that table of people or if he continued to sit on that bike, revving it up.

SAVING OMI: FINAL VERSION

2008-02-09T22:41:00.000-08:00

None of the action in this sequence was as it was written in the script. The original ending had Kimiko turning into a fly and lazily going into Omi's ear. Inside Omi's brain were framed paintings and statues of himself, and in the center was a gas tank-type of fountain that she pours the chi into, turning Omi back to good. There were no water hands or 'Tsunami Water Blade: ICE!' or any hint of the true friendship that Rai and Omi shared under all that teasing and competition. I wanted this sequence to play like the end of Return of the Jedi, with Luke fighting Vader (Rai & Clay fighting Omi) while Lando and Wedge fly thru the Death Star and blow it up (Kimiko & 'good' Jack flying into Omi's head and returning his chi).

SAVING OMI: BUTCHERED EDIT

2008-02-09T22:38:00.000-08:00

Raw footage of the editor's first pass at Saving Omi. No sound fx or music. The editor and I butted heads on the exact order of scenes for this sequence, but my argument- that it looks like Jack is flying into Rai's mouth- ultimately beat his, so he re-edited it the way I had drawn in the boards (even though I was the director of the episode, the editor had been there way longer than me, and he often took liberties with his cuts of the show. Most of them made the show awesome, but sometimes, they just baffled the S out of me)

STONE COLD: SON OF CURLY & SHEMP

2008-02-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

SOUND FIXED! Most of you are probably familiar with Stone Cold Steve Austin, & that he's a badass Texan who takes no shit and opens up cans of whup-ass on beady eyed, meely mouthed sons of bitches... But for a glorious period of time in 2001, he became a cowardly kiss ass who just wanted to be Vince MacMahon's friend. Stone Cold is a genius when it comes to comedy. Watch him try to copy Vince's hand movements, and the looks he gives then-wife Debra. Plus, playing off the almost as equally genius Kurt Angle adds to the comedy gold.

DEMON SEED'S BUTTOCKS

2008-02-08T21:50:00.001-08:00

Don't remember if this got changed or not, but at the end of this sequence, when Omi says "Time to kick some plant butt!...If they have butts" or somethin', in the foreground, as the vine carries the Shen Gong Wu up offscreen, the end of the vine is shaped like little buttocks.

OMI ADMIRAL ACKBAR

2008-02-08T21:44:00.000-08:00

Since Omi exclaimed "It is a trap!" Mike Borkowski & I wanted him to look like Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi, who is famous for saying the line "It's a trap!"
This got past the network, all the way to being animated before it got noticed by an executive. They didn't get the reference to Star Wars so they made us change it. So here, for the first time anywhere...ever, is Omi Admiral Ackbar!

TAEKWON V

2008-02-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

Korean giant robot cartoon known as Voltar the Invincible here in the states, being turned into a big budget CG/live action movie. This test footage, in my opinion, looks the opposite of shitty. Click here for a Korean news report with some cool unrendered test animation.

DOOMSDAY TRAILER

2008-01-17T01:57:00.000-08:00

The new movie from Neil Marshall...the guy who made the flawed yet awesome Dog Soldiers and the flawed but good The Descent. So far he's doing better than Kurt Wimmer. Equilibrium was great and I had high hopes for his next movie. Too bad that movie was Ultraviolet...which I still bought on dvd. OPENS ON MY BIRTHDAY! THANKS NEIL!

GREASE MONKEY EPISODE 1 (part 1)

2008-01-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

The animated Grease Monkey pilot movie. Written & Drawn by Tim Eldred, based on his graphic novel. "Fresh and engaging, crammed with likeable characters and science-fictional inventiveness, Grease Monkey is for adults who wish they "knew then what they know now", and also for young people who wish they had a guardian angel against the onslaught of the mysterious, treacherous, and ridiculous world of adults. On behalf of all us, Mac and Robin defy the rules, strike their own path, and poke holes in the big balloon of life. Occasionally, they even get to enjoy it."

GREASE MONKEY EPISODE 1 (part 2)

2008-01-13T14:10:00.001-08:00

Second half of Grease Monkey pilot by Tim Eldred. "Delightful science fiction with a sense of humor, Grease Monkey is an all-ages series that doesn’t write down to its readership—and that’s much more rare than it should be."

Comic Shop News

GREASE MONKEY EPISODE 2

2008-01-13T14:10:00.000-08:00

Episode 2! Now with mouth codes! By the man himself, Tim Eldred. "Eldred's writing is filled with gentle comedy and wise personal insights. His artwork is particularly good at conveying his cast's personalities. This should appeal to readers who appreciate a universal story and nuanced characterization with their space battles."

Publisher's Weekly

BANDAI SPIDER-MAN MOVIE FIGURE

2008-01-13T01:32:00.000-08:00

Part of Bandai's "Movie Realization" line of figures...where they put their own spin on the original. I want one.

LANCE HEADSTRONG

2008-01-13T01:24:00.000-08:00

It was a pic of Lance Armstrong but I changed it. Go to CelebsFun to morph the shit out of celebrities faces. WARNING: It is highly addictive. Jeff Conaway, do not go to this site!

XS FAN MADE MUSIC VIDEO

2008-01-13T01:12:00.000-08:00

Kids today. Too much time and creativity on their hands. Amazing. By Dorment Mistress.

deviantART

2008-01-11T09:21:00.001-08:00

My gallery at Deviant Art.com

POINT BLANK ENDING

2008-01-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

You're my inspiration...!

MICKEY ROURKE VS. DANNY TREJO

2008-01-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

This was drawn from memory. If you watch the ending (above) you'll see how off I was.

IF THE SCURVY DON'T GET YA...

2008-01-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

SHAGGY & SCOOBY ON DVD!

2007-11-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

It's only the first 4 episodes, but boy is it worth your money! 2 eps directed by me and 2 directed by Charles Visser.

WONDER WOMAN '97

2007-11-04T18:24:00.000-08:00

I did a Google Image Search of my name and this old drawing showed up on somebody's Big Muscular Huge Breasted Women blog. I drew this 10 years ago when I was laid off, trying to pay the bills by selling original art on ebay of big breasted super heroines. Now all I gotta do is find my Catwoman & Batman, Witchblade, and Vampirella.

HALLOWEEN HOOTENANNY

2007-10-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

Here's Tim Eldred & John Calmette as Albert Einstein and Voodoo Zombie Victim #7 dancing the Macarena.

HALLOWEEN HOOTENANNY

2007-10-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

Here's me ordering a coffee enema as a zombie at my Halloween party.

MORNING SHAVE

2007-10-30T08:16:00.001-07:00

This is what happens when I shave. Every morning. I'm gettin' sick of it.

UNDYING LOVE

2007-10-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

Here's my wife & I's Halloween Party invitation, which is also doubling for my Jelly of the Month blog entry. I drew the pic & my wife did the rest.

DOC & BROCK

2007-10-08T00:06:00.000-07:00

Venture Bros. voice dopplegangers Morton Stevinson and Shelly Cappapple caught on film together in a tender moment. Click on Shelly's wig to watch the video.

RANDY "THE NATURAL" COUTURE

2007-10-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

In honor of his nickname, I used ALIAS Sketchbook Pro to change Randy Couture into Robert Redford's character from the 1984 film 'The Natural'. Look closely at Tim "Babyfat" Sylvia's nape and see his spine popping out. Now that's charisma! Work out ya bitch!

NOCTURNALS

2007-10-07T23:41:00.000-07:00

Trying to look badass next to Gunwitch. I'm failing shitilly. Work out ya bitch!

EL MACHETE

2007-08-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

The man and the myth that is Danny Trejo. A shadow of his former self. Work out ya bitch.

NITEWING NIPPLES

2007-08-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

Here's a work of art that would make any mother proud.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

Joe Quesada lost a ton o' weight. Somewhere, Stuart Pankin is proud.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

WETA's ray guns...pretty cool.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

Here's me as a child.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

Darth Maul with his scooter from Gentle Giant. The cool thing about this statue is that the scooter is connected to Maul's cape, so it looks like it's hovering above the bung.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

The Phantom's guns and rings. I'd wanna get this for my dad (who is a Phantom Phan) but he'd probby roll his eyes, then look at me sideways and say "What the fuck Jeff...?" Then I'd cry and do a number two right there in muh pants.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

The Lost Boys! The first ever Jason Patrick action figure! He must be so happy.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

Akuma of Street Fighter from Sideshow and Pop Culture Shock
Collectibles. Akuma it up.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

Nosferatu life-sized bust from Sideshow. I really loved the Sideshow display. I kept going back to get closer looks. Someday I'll be able to afford to get most of these expensive woiks o' ahrt.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

The Pirates of the Caribbean display. Lookit dat huge-ass ship up there! Hugh Jass.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

Comic-Con exclusive Hellboy figure with Japanese Heads. Poose! I gots one!

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

An American Werewolf in London figgers. SOTA toys.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T10:47:00.001-07:00

Two Lobster Creatures with heads for gentitals.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

Resident Evil: Apocalypse Crotch Rocket.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T10:32:00.000-07:00

Me and the guy from Hot Fuzz.

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T10:27:00.001-07:00

Statue of Batman breaking my jaw. Where's Tango & Cash when you need 'em?

COMIC-CON '07

2007-08-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

Darth Vader on his Star Destroyer Chopper by Gentle Giant. Click to enlarge you dope.

HOPE GOD'S NOT WATCHIN'...

2007-08-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Here's my third entry in the JELLY OF THE MONTH art blog. It's me circa 2002(?) playing for the very first time Grand Theft Auto III. And the first thing I did in that brand new and fantastical free roaming world was take a baseball bat to a bag lady. I honestly felt like I was doing something wrong. But then I quickly got over it and did all the evil stuff people end up doin' when they play that game...like havin' a date with a hooker in your car, payin' her, then shooting her and getting your money back. But the first time's always the hardest...

BLISS

2007-07-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

Here's my second entry in the Jelly of the Month Art Blog. Done on a CINTIQ with Alias Sketchbook Pro.

OH THAT HAN!

2007-06-22T18:09:00.000-07:00

Here's my entry in the Jelly of the Month blog. A bunch of us artist friends have this blog where we pick a topic (for June the topic was Star Wars) and we draw whatever comes to mind. This is what came to my mind. Too gross? Or Delicious? Please feel free to comment.

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

This page 1. I posted the pages in reverse order so that you might want to scroll down and view them in descending order like a normal person. VIEW THEM!!!

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:53:00.002-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:53:00.001-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:52:00.003-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:52:00.001-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:51:00.003-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:51:00.001-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:49:00.000-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:48:00.001-07:00

SANDS OF TIME ROUGHS

2007-06-20T17:46:00.001-07:00

I'm posting these in reverse order so it's easier to follow. You'll thank me.

CHASE YOUNG EATS DOJO'S HEAD

2007-06-19T23:21:00.001-07:00

Here's a drawing of Chase from Xiaolin Showdown eatin' lunch. It's an idea I had swimmin' around in my head for a while, and it was way easier than the convoluted idea I had for the Jelly of the Month Star Wars blog. Jeez I made a lot of work for myself. Don't worry Mike(s), I'll get it done by FRIDAY. I hope.

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:42:00.001-07:00

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:40:00.002-07:00

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:40:00.001-07:00

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:38:00.001-07:00

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:37:00.001-07:00

CITADEL OF DOOM ROUGHS

2007-06-18T11:35:00.000-07:00